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Teen Articles: 

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I hope you glean some insight after reading these Teen articles!  I update this page regularly, so come back often!   I post excellent tips and solutions for common discipline challenges for your teenager! 

In addition, feel free to visit my Blottblog - (just click on the tab at the top of this page) - I post a weekly blog addressing the most common issues discussed in my classes. 

If you don't find the topic you are looking for, please let me know!  You can email me at brandilott@blottcom.com.

Blessings to you! 
B


Angry Kids

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By Jim Fay 

"Why does my child always have an attitude? She's often disruptive, disrespectful or picking on other children. She's always the one with a chip on her shoulder." This frustrated parent expresses the feelings of many–Why is my child angry and how do I deal with it?

A child who acts out may be expressing other emotions through anger. A youngster may be experiencing a loss, a divorce or a move. A child may be trying to let the world know that his/her life is not what it ought to be. Regardless of the reason, it looks the same. But how can we deal with this angry attitude without being a psychologist?

A Parent's Job is to Understand, Not to Fix Things

Listening for understanding is impossible when a child is "drunk" on anger. Never reason with an angry child. Instead say, "It sounds like you're really mad. I want to listen and understand. I will listen when you're voice is as calm as mine. Come back then." If you can't make the child leave, you leave. Be prepared to repeat your calm statement if the child is determined to yell out the anger without leaving. "Don't worry about it now. We'll talk when you're calm."You may need to say this several times. Be prepared to play "broken record" with, what did I say? Use these phrases instead of reasoning. Reasoning will only fuel the anger.

"Thanks for Sharing That"

Once the child is able to discuss the anger, listen without reasoning. Try to avoid telling the child why he/she should not be angry. Avoid telling them that things will be okay and how to make it better. Your job is to prove that you understand – "It sounds like you get mad when I tell you it's time to do your chores. Thanks for sharing that with me. I'll give it some thought. If you think of a better way for me to remind you, let me know."

Parents Can Make It Worse

Parents who do not treat their children with respect send a message that says, "You're not worthy." These parents often communicate with a lot of yelling. This encourages the child to yell and scream back while the parents retaliate by getting madder. It's a vicious cycle that breeds chronic anger in the child.

In place of anger, parents should work on listening to their children in a non–threatening, honest and open manner. Most children will talk openly only after they truly believe their parents are interested in what they have to say and recognize their feelings.

When Anger Continues

If, despite your best attempts to understand your child's anger, there is no change in behavior after three months, parents should seek professional counseling for their child. In some instances, chronic anger is best helped by a professional.

Never reason with an angry child. Use empathy and understanding instead. "It sounds like you're really mad. I want to listen and understand. And I will listen when your voice is as calm as mine. Come back then."



KIDS and SMOKING

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By Dr. Charles Fay,
Love & Logic

When youngsters find themselves in tough spots, how we've handled their mistakes in the past will have a lot to do with whether they fess-up and accept our guidance or continue to remain stuck in the bad situation they've created.

Smoking is one of the many bad decisions that falls into this category. Many kids decide to experiment with this dangerous habit and quickly find themselves hooked. Since we can't follow our kids every second of the day to make sure they never light a cigarette, it's far more productive to offer concern and guidance rather than anger and threats.

With a combination of loving humor, empathy and sincerity we can plant some seeds in our child's mind: "Amy, I'm really worried that your siblings are going to get all of your inheritance."

Of course, Amy won't quite understand. "Huh?"

"Well, I'm thinking that you stand a pretty good chance of getting lung or some other sort of cancer that will wipe you out before you can get your hands on our cash. But seriously, we worry about you…because we love you. A lot of kids get hooked on cigarettes and then don't know how to stop smoking. Heck, quitting is really hard for most adults. If you decide that you want some help with this, just ask. Your mom and I really want to help."

In their book, Parenting Teens with Love and Logic  Jim Fay and Foster Cline, MD, give a variety of additional strategies for upping the odds that teens will want to behave and lead healthy lives. All of these techniques involve showing great love and concern, setting limits only over what's within our control, and providing guidance rather than hollow threats and lectures.


The Power of POSITIVE Feelings

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By Dr. Charles Fay, Love & Logic

I love the smell of burnt toast! That aroma…coupled with the odor of overcooked coffee…always leaves a warm feeling in my heart.
 
I once met a woman who loved the sound of trains. In fact, she loved this sound so much that she purchased a house near the tracks…so that she could experience the bone-rattling rumbles and blaring horns 24 hours a day.
 
Like this woman, I learned to love something because of the unconscious associations I developed through my experience as a child. Every time I went to my loving grandparents' home, my grandmother managed to burn the toast…and burn the coffee. This woman had a similar experience. Her loving grandmother lived…you guessed it…next to the train tracks.
 
The power of positive feelings is immense! When our kids experience love and joy coupled with chores…they associate doing chores with positive feelings.
 
When they experience warmth and affection coupled with learning…they come to associate academics with positive feelings.
 
When they feel our joy as we parent or educate them, they’re far more likely to live a life filled with excitement and motivation instead of apprehension and apathy.
 
Sometimes I get shortsighted. Sometimes I forget all of this. Sometimes I allow myself to get cross and short and impatient, thinking that somehow my negativity will inspire my kids to cheerfully learn and complete their daily duties. I forget all of this when I don’t take good care of myself.
 
Kids don't remember all of the things we try to teach them, but they will always remember how they felt when they were around us. Take great care of yourself so that you can give them the gift of loving learning, loving responsibility, and loving themselves.


My Parent is SO SMART!


By Jim Fay
Believe it or not, it's possible to train your kids to appreciate how smart you are. All it takes is a little nerve on your part, and application of a Love and Logic® Five-Step Process. Look for opportunities to do this as often as possible. The more you repeat the process, the more your kids will marvel at both your wisdom and your ability to know ahead of time what's going to happen.

Start out by corralling your tendencies to say, "Don't do that!" This tempting phrase only results in kids thinking, "My parents worry too much. Nothing bad will happen." I have been studying kids and parents for over 45 years. My experience is kids who hear, "Don't do that," consider it a challenge, not good advice.

Step One:
Avoid the natural tendency to order your child to do the right thing. Say these words instead, "Oh, I don't think I'd do that." Be sure there is plenty of lilt in your voice. Kids always listen best when the parent's words are soft and melodious.

Step Two:
Describe the possible consequences that might befall you, not the child. For example, "Oh, I don't think I'd go out there and mouth off to people who are bigger than me. If I did that, I might really take a beating."

Step Three:
Resist all temptations to warn or remind. Remember that bumps and bruises heal quickly. They also hurt the parent more than they do the child. Chances are the neighborhood kids will be more than willing to provide both training and natural consequences. Guaranteed, these kids will not use warnings and lectures to get the job done.

This is probably the most difficult step for some parents. It means having to override natural loving instincts to protect and defend our young. This natural instinct was given to us to use in life and death situations. Try not to confuse these times with those in which life's important lessons can be learned.

Love and Logic parents know that kids learn best through their mistakes and consequences. Experience, not lectures and warnings, develop strong people. Those who are protected from struggles and mistakes as youngsters have a much more difficult life as adults. Often, in our zeal to make our kids happy, we actually steal away their opportunities to grow into happy, productive adults.

Step Four:
Know that your youngster may mouth off to those bigger kids anyway. The odds are good the other kids will provide an immediate lesson. More than likely, it will happen just like you described in step two. POW!

At this minute, a flash of recognition will surge through your child's brain. "Wow! This is exactly what mom/dad said would happen. She/he must really be smart!" When kids develop these kinds of thoughts, they remember them forever.

Step Five:
Now is the time for a hug and genuine empathy. It's the perfect chance for you to be the good guy. "Oh, no. Look what happened. That's exactly what happens to me when I mouth off to bigger people. Let's get you cleaned up. I'll bet you could use a hug." This empathy locks in the learning. Look for opportunities for kids to learn in this way, and you will become smarter in their eyes with each new experience.


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You Can SAVE Your Child's Life

    Parents are the perfect antidote to peer pressure.

By Dr. Charles Fay
Your children do not have to fall victim to peer pressure. That's good news considering a recent survey commissioned by the Love and Logic Institute found nearly 75 percent of American adults believe today's teenagers face decisions with more dangerous consequences than they did.

The survey also revealed that 27 percent of adults are most concerned with the negative influence of peers on children, just behind television (29 percent), and surpassing the Internet (19 percent), movies (9 percent), and popular music (7 percent). Almost half believe peers have more influence on children today than in the past.

Love and Logic offers parents plenty of practical, easy-to-learn tools that can literally save a child's life when peer pressure drives him or her to experiment with dangerous activities, such as sex, drugs, violence, and other reckless behavior. Here are four tips to help you give your kids the tools they need to resist peer pressure:

Tip 1: Teach your children that poor choices lead to unpleasant consequences.
When children know that poor decisions lead to unhappiness, they tend to be a lot more careful about the choices they make. Love and Logic parents allow their children to make plenty of choices, and plenty of mistakes, when the consequences of these mistakes are not serious or life threatening. The wisdom children gain from being held accountable for these smaller mistakes makes them much less likely to make bigger ones when peers turn up the heat.

Tip 2: Avoid power struggles over friendship choices.
Don't fall into the trap of fighting a losing battle over who your children choose as friends. Parent-child clashes over this issue actually drive kids away from their parents and the family they need so badly. How many American teens hit the streets each year because of the resentment these fights create? Love and Logic parents send the following message: "We will love you regardless of whom you choose as your friends."

Tip 3: Send positive messages about your child's ability to make wise choices.
Children will either live up to or down to their parents' expectations. Some parents unwittingly set their kids up for failure by saying things like, "That Joe is going to get you into a world of trouble." Statements like this imply that our kids are not strong enough to resist being "infected" by others´ poor judgment. Love and Logic parents set positive expectations by making loving comments, such as, "Honey, Joe sure is lucky to have a friend like you who makes such smart choices!"

Tip 4: Allow your child to use you as the "bad guy."
Love and Logic parents give their children a way of saving face when their friends tempt them to make poor decisions. How? They say, "Sweetie, I know it can be hard to say ´no´ when your friends want you to do something that's wrong. You can blame us anytime by saying, 'Oh no. My parents are such dorks. Last time I did something like that they went ballistic. I'd better not.'"

These four tips can save your child's life! There's no need to battle with your children over friends, and there's no need for peer pressure to lead them astray. Parents can be powerful influences in their children's lives — even during the challenging teenage years. Try Love and Logic and see how it changes your life. You'll be amazed at how fun parenting can be!


HAVE A PLAN FOR DEALING
        WITH PEER PRESSURE...
        Parents don’t have to be left in the dark
                when kids walk out the door

by Jim Fay, Love and Logic Founder
The challenges of adolescence can be harder for parents to deal with than for their kids.  According to research from the Love and Logic® Institute, 87 percent of American adults believe children and teens are influenced as much or more by their peers than a generation ago. How can concerned parents know if their children are ready to deal with the intense pressure they face to participate in unhealthy behavior?

Parents usually try to talk to their teenager about their concerns. But talking may only make the situation worse. Betty’s daughter, Rachel, wants to go to a party. Mom isn’t sure her daughter is ready to handle the peer pressure she is sure to face. Rachel tells Betty she’s being overprotective.

“You’re just treating me like a baby. How can I help it if some kids bring drugs or beer to the party? But you don’t have to worry about me. I can handle it. I’m not a baby, you know. So what if I’m only 14? I’m a very mature 14-year-old. You can’t keep treating me like I’m a baby.”

Parents can use a simple Love and Logic® technique called “What’s Your Plan?” to avoid this argument and add to their peace of mind when teenagers claim they are ready to handle peer pressure and mom or dad simply aren’t sure. 

Betty should begin by asking her daughter, “What’s your plan if your friends want you to drink or do drugs with them? I’ll know you’re ready to handle these kinds of situations once you have a good plan.”

“I’m Not Ready” Indicators
:
1. “Oh, mom. You know I don’t do stuff like that. I’m a good kid.” Beware! This youngster has not developed a plan for handling peer pressure and is trying to say what is expected.

2. “Don’t you trust me? Why can’t you just trust me?” Uh oh! This is probably a manipulative statement designed to put the parent on the defensive. Many kids learn at an early age that defensive parents are more likely to give in.

3. “Oh, mom. I just do what you told me. I just say “No.” Watch out! Most teens and even many adults are not comfortable saying “No” to a good friend. This kid is not ready.

4. “I’ll just tell them doing drugs is stupid.” A teenager probably is not going to say this. It is very rare for a child to risk his or her standing in the peer group with this kind of statement. This statement usually is made only to impress the parent.

“I’m Ready” Indicator:
A teenager who is ready to handle the pressure usually indicates a well thought out plan.

For example:
“You know, Mom, if a kid wants me to try drugs, I’ll tell him I like him and want to do things with him, but drugs really aren’t my thing. And then I’ll thank him and suggest something else we could do.”

I met a teenager who told me he actually looks forward to being offered drugs or alcohol. “I’ve got this great routine,” he laughed. “I tell them I’ve got a big time problem with my parents. They just aren’t very “with it.” If they knew I tried anything, they’d take all of my college money and put me in a rehab program even if I didn’t need one. They’re so unreasonable I can’t take a chance. But thanks anyway.”

This teen has a plan and his odds for successful dealing with peer pressure are much higher than someone without a plan. Parents can help their kids develop a plan to handle peer pressure. Once it’s in place, parents should practice with their teenagers. Have fun with some surprise “dry run” practice sessions: “Hey dude, I’ve got some really good stuff. Want some?”

In the event a youngster hesitates, say, “Uh oh. Not ready for the next party. I hope the next practice session goes better for you.”

You Don't
         TRUST Me!

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By Jim Fay,
Love & Logic

Does this scenario sound familiar? "The trouble with you is that you just don't trust me. If you did, you wouldn't be asking these stupid questions about where I'm going and stuff." Britney is railing against her mom's wanting some simple explanations about the party Britney and her friends are going to.  
We've all heard this ultimate teen manipulation. Britney expects her mom to feel guilty and back off. She's hoping to hear a response like, "Of course I trust you. All I want to know is where you're going to be and … " If this happens, this typical teen can then take mom on a series of "bird walks" until she wears down and gives in while never actually getting the information she was looking for.   Let's give this mom a pat on the back and an extra high five for her response.  

"Actually Britney," she says, "there are several issues here. I trust that you are very smart, I trust that you have the best of intentions, and I trust that your short 16 years of life has yet to give you the wisdom to handle all situations."   "Wisdom comes from intelligence combined with experience. So, yes, I trust that your wisdom will come after a lot more experience. Until you've lived long enough to have both wisdom and intelligence, I'll be asking questions so I can share my wisdom and experience."   "You may attend the party when you answer my questions and when I think you have seriously considered my advice. Thank you."  

Mom didn't fall for the "You don't trust me" manipulation. You don't have to either.   Keep the book Love and Logic Magic When Kids Leave You Speechless on your nightstand. When you find it hard to answer your youngster, say, "I'm not sure how to react to that; I'll get back to you." Then go to your book for the right words.



Thinking About Growing Up?

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By Jim Fay,
Love & Logic

15-year-old Jason was feeling independent. He and his friends all agreed that their parents were "clueless" and had no right to be asking them to be slaves around the house this summer. They had already had a stressful time just making it through another year of school. That was enough. Now was the time to chill out and hang out.

The only problem was that Jason's friends had parents who were providing plenty of ready cash. In Jason's eyes, his parents should do the same, but they had taken a Love and Logic® course and were expecting him to do his share of the work around the house and were outrageous enough to suggest that he earn some of his own spending money.

Being turned down for a "loan" to buy the latest gadget, Jason sarcastically retorted, "Yeah, I know. It's time I started to grow up, get a job, and earn what I want!" With this he stomped off.

Dad was so proud of himself. He didn't even respond. But later, when all had settled down, he did bring it up. "Jason, a while ago you mentioned that it might be time for you to grow up, get a job, and start earning what you want. I've thought about it and think that you might really be on to something there."

Needless to say, Jason stomped off again. But he left with plenty to think about.



Off to School on Time
By Jim Fay, Love and Logic Founder

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Young teens, Maggie and Marcy, were on mom's last nerve. They couldn't seem to get themselves going in the morning. Getting them out of bed was like pulling teeth. Since mom drove them to school on her way to work, waiting for them caused her to be late for work several times.

Mom finally decided to take charge of the situation. (Otherwise known as setting limits by taking care of herself.) She bought them an alarm clock and announced that they would be waking themselves from now on.

She also called their attention to the family bulletin board, saying, "From now on my car will be leaving at 7:15 each morning. Feel free to ride with me if you are up and ready. If not, I've listed several options for getting to school.

"The phone number for the cab company is listed on the bulletin board. If you don't like their price, I talked to Mrs. Lackey next door. She'd like to earn some extra money, and would be glad to drive you for $7.00. Or, you can call dad at work and see how much he would charge to come home to give you a ride. I have no idea how much that would cost.”

Let's give mom some well-deserved pats on the back. I guess I don't need to tell you how this situation worked out.


You are Grounded from your MOM...

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By Charles Fay, PhD
Fifteen-year-old Brandi has been out of control. She refuses to listen to her mother, calls her mother filthy names, won't come home on time, and has turned the home into a battleground. Mom, in desperation, called her husband at work and demanded that he do something, which he did.
 
Dad grounded his daughter from her mom for one week. She is not allowed to talk to her mom, and Mom is not allowed to talk to her.
 
"This is the stupidest kind of discipline I ever heard!" screamed Brandi. "I need my mom. She needs to cook my meals. I need her to help me with my hair. I need her to take me shopping. How is she going to answer my phone calls? I need her to drive me to school. I hate this! None of my friends have to put up with this!"
 
Here is a youngster who is starting to realize how important her mother is. Next week Mom plans to use that famous Love and Logic mantra, "I'm happy to do the things you want when I feel respected." This is going to be interesting.


They'll Love You For Holding Them Accountable...


By Jim Fay
Your life and that of your kids can be better if you hold your children accountable for their misdeeds. Many parents want to do this, but hold back out of fear their kids will see them as being mean. Love and Logic® offers the secret to holding kids accountable and actually leaving children liking their parents better. You can ease into this with the "E's" of Love and Logic.

The art of becoming a Love and Logic parent is to tap into the two ways children learn best. The first is by copying and modeling after their parents. Here we see the first "E" of Love and Logic – example. Kids learn more from what they are shown than what they are told.

The next way we learn is through experience, the second "E" of Love and Logic. Our mistakes become our best teachers. Unfortunately many parents, in the heat of the moment, close their children's minds to learning through experience by resorting to anger, threats, and lectures. This switches the child's mind into the "fight or flight" mode of operation.

You can open your child's mind to learning from experience by using the third "E" of Love and Logic – empathy. This is the secret to causing your youngster to like you better after you have had to discipline. A heavy dose of empathy before holding children accountable will go a long way to helping them learn from their misdeeds. And it will do wonders for your relationships with them.

Let's say Junior wrecks the family car. When you learn about the accident, you experience a wide range of emotions: Worry for the child's safety, anger over his irresponsibility, relief that he's OK, and stress over the cost of repairs.

During the heat of the moment, parents traditionally respond in ways that actually encourage more irresponsible behavior. Some parents get angry, lecture, and threaten. Some parents rush to the rescue and blame others. Allowing kids to misbehave without logical consequences creates irresponsible children who make bigger and bigger mistakes as they grow older. These kids aren't much fun to be around.

Love and Logic parents approach a situation such as the wrecked car with a belief that mistakes are great practice for the real world. In the real world of adults, no one will be around to lecture Junior about his irresponsibility. However, there will be responsibilities for the cost of repair and the inconvenience of the loss of transportation.

This is the point at which the Love and Logic parent opens their child's mind and heart to learn from the consequences. They provide a heavy dose of empathy to match the consequence.

"Oh, son, we're so glad you weren't hurt. We bet you feel just awful about this. But not to worry, you'll be driving again some day, just as soon as you get the damage paid for. Now give us a hug."

Notice the child in this situation is going to have a difficult time seeing his parents as being mean. Junior doesn't get a chance to be defensive. He can feel his parent's love. The "bad guy" is his bad decision. His parents are the "good guys." His mind is now open to learn from his mistakes.

Look for an opportunity to experiment with this Love and Logic technique. You'll be amazed at the power of this approach.


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Keep Teenagers Safe Behind the Wheel

    Practical Tips for Parents Who Want To Be Sure

By Dr. Charles Fay
Too many of our children are injured or killed as they drive on America's roads.

Last year more than 3,500 teenage drivers were killed and 344,000 were injured in accidents, according to the National Highway and Transportation Safety Administration. Have you ever wondered how safe a driver your teenager really is? Take the following test to see if your child is safe behind the wheel:

My teen paid for at least half of the cost of his/her vehicle and insurance.

True

False

My teen uses my car and has made a deposit into my savings account equal to the insurance deductible.

True

False

My teen is respectful and follows the rules of our home and his/her school.

True

False

My teen handles frustrations well. He/she does not lose his/her temper easily.

True

False

If you answered "False" to one or more of these questions, your teenager may not be as safe a driver as you thought. The good news is that it isn't too late to take three steps that may save his or her life — and the lives of others.

Life-Saver #1

Make sure your child makes a meaningful financial contribution to his or her driving privilege.

Kids take much better care of their cars and drive much more carefully when they have spent a significant amount of their own money purchasing them or paying for insurance. Using an appropriate amount of empathy, a parent might say:

Feel free to drive when you have enough money to pay for at least half of your own car and half of your insurance.

Feel free to use the family car when we don't need it and you've made a deposit into our savings account equal to the insurance deductible.

Life-Saver #2

Make it possible for your teen to drive only when you know he or she respects the rules at home and at school.

If teenagers do not respect their family or school rules, what are the chances they will respect the rules of the road? Parents need to say:

When I know that you are ready to follow rules at home and at school, then I'll feel more comfortable that you will follow them out on the road. Then it will be time for you to drive.

Life Saver #3

Before driving, your teen must show he or she can handle frustration without losing his/her temper.

Kids who easily lose their tempers at home are sure to lose them behind the wheel and become part of the "road rage" epidemic. With this type of child, a parent can say (without using any sarcasm):

When I know that you handle your frustrations without throwing a fit, I will know you are ready to handle the frustrations of driving without doing something you will be sorry for later.

Love and Logic is designed to help parents raise responsible kids who are prepared to make smart choices about serious issues. Parents around the world are applying these practical strategies and finding they sleep much easier at night. You can too!


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WHAT’S MORE IMPORTANT:
            GPA OR CHARACTER?


by Jim Fay, Love and Logic Founder
Are you more interested in your child’s grade point average or his or her character and sense of personal responsibility? Give yourself a big pat on the back if you answered character and responsibility!

Children who grow up in a home where character and responsibility are modeled, valued, and enforced often have little trouble being successful in school and in their adult lives. Even so, many parents find themselves in situations where the answer seems less than obvious. I recently had a call from a parent who was concerned about her teenager’s behavior. After some discussion, mom admitted the teen had stolen a credit card and purchased items through the Internet. However, mom’s major concern was about her daughter lying about the purchases, not the criminal behavior itself.

Several times the mother said, “I just don’t want her to have a record.” In desperation, I finally asked, “Are you saying you don’t mind that she is a criminal, as long as she doesn’t look like a criminal?”
“Well, no,” she replied. “But this is going to be so hard for her. What do I do?”

After spending more than 30 years as an educator and a parent, it was clear to me this mother needed to treat her teenager’s mistake as an opportunity for her daughter to learn how to face the consequences of her choices. While it will cause some short-term pain, the long-term benefits will be a stronger, healthier sense of personal responsibility, the foundation of a solid character. Of course, it’s much easier to know what other parents should do about their misbehaving children.

This mother is struggling with a trap many of us have fallen into. We love our children. When they are uncomfortable or hurting, we hurt even more. We want to protect them; it’s only natural. However, our attempts to save children from the consequences of their mistakes have a great deal to do with comforting ourselves, instead of solving the problem.

Mom has fallen into another trap. She has bought into the belief that a child’s self-concept is damaged when kids experience the consequences of their mistakes. Nothing could be further from reality. In fact, the opposite is true: Self-concept is reduced every time a parent excuses bad behavior. The Love and Logic® philosophy gives us a great solution for this dilemma. There is a way of holding kids responsible for their actions without appearing mean or authoritarian.
This wonderful technique leaves kids thinking, “My parent is not the problem. My problem is my bad decision.”

Give children a heavy dose of empathy or compassion before laying down any punishment or logical consequences. This opens their minds and hearts to learn from their mistakes without blaming you. Then hold the line in a loving way to allow the consequences to teach an important life lesson. In the case of the stolen credit cards, let’s see how this teenager’s mom might help her daughter face the natural consequences of making illegal purchases. Mom needs to resist the temptation to react in anger, which will only make her youngster defensive.

A Heavy Dose of Empathy

Mom: “Oh, sweety, what a bummer. My heart goes out to you. What a
problem. I bet you feel awful. Would it help if I went to the police with you and held your hand while you explain this?”

Daughter: “But, mom, it’s not fair! Can’t you just get me a lawyer?”

Hold the Line In a Loving Way
Mom: “Sweety, I love you too much to let you pass up this opportunity to learn about how the real world works.” (Mom needs to repeat this statement for each new argument the child tries.)

This is a sad story about a mother and a daughter who are paying a huge price. Neither of these people would be in this situation had mom started early handling the little problems and misbehaviors in this way.
Life provides a limited number of opportunities for children to build character and learn how the real world works.
Make the most of them!
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