Happy New Year to YOU! As usual, I took a few months off for the holidays - yea ME! :) However, I have missed you, and working with you as we laugh through our parenting challenges!
We kicked off another series of Love and Logic classes last night – such a great evening! There was one area we addressed that I thought I might mention to you: gaining SELF-CONTROL when we are ANGRY.
It is ironic that we teach our children how to BRUSH their teeth, how to OPEN the door for a friend, how to TIE their shoes, how to RAISE their hand in class… yet sometimes parents forget to TEACH their children HOW to CALM themselves when they are ANGRY.
We just say "you need to CALM DOWN" and the child figures it out…eventually…or maybe not? This loss of control can be quite scary for children and parents, in addition to increasing the chance of others having meltdowns too!
We as parents, need to remember to give our children some "tools" to HELP them CALM DOWN… I thought this article Tame your Angry Child with this Power Tool (see below) had some useful tools for children and their parents. There are MANY TOOLS out there to help a child calm down… this is only ONE. Need more ideas? Let me know! :)
Feel free to forward this to others if you think it will be a benefit. :)
Blessings to you!
Brandi Lott, Love and Logic Facilitator
Tame Your Angry Child With This Power Tool!
By Jean Tracy, MSS – www.kidsdiscuss.com
Do you have an angry child? Does he growl like a pit-bull to get his way? Look inside for 5 parenting tips. They’ll give you a power tool for turning your angry kid into a rational child.
To get what they want, kids learn to holler at an early age. Babies cry. Toddlers scream, bite, and kick. Older children use these behaviors and add pouts, sarcasm, and arguments to get their way.
As parents, our job is to tame them for the real world. But how do you get your angry kid to become a rational child?
Imagine a ruler that measures anger. This ruler numbers from zero to twelve. Zero is never angry. Twelve is pistol-ready to fire at any moment.
To help your child become rational you need to use your parenting skills. You need to show him pull how to remove his finger from the trigger, lay down his anger, and use his head.
To become rational he’ll need to move his anger from 12 on the ruler to the frustration zone between 4 and 8. In this area he can begin to act rationally. Here’s how:
5 Parenting Tips for Taming Your Angry Child ~
1. Use or draw a ruler with numbers from zero to twelve. Color the area between 4 and 8 to make it special. That’s the frustration zone.
2. Talk about the ruler with your child. Discuss how twelve is ready to explode at any moment like a pit bull protecting his bone. We’re not dogs. We’re humans. As human beings we have the power to think before we act. To do this we need to use our power tools, a thinking mind with thoughtful choices.
3. Show Zero on the ruler. Discuss how zero represents no feelings. Rocks are at zero because they don’t have feelings. People do. Our task is to bring our anger down from 12 to the frustration zone, the area between 4 and 8.
4. Ask your child to pick a time in the past when he exploded with anger. Tell him to close his eyes and feel the emotion he had at the time. Then tell him not to open his eyes until he brings his emotion down to the frustration zone between 4 and 8. When he opens his eyes, ask him how he did it. If he says, “I don’t know,” tell him to guess.
Listen to his answers. I know they’ll be fascinating. Tell him to practice this technique whenever he’s upset. This is his power tool.
5. Practice the technique above. Pick out several more situations when he acted with anger. With each situation tell him to feel the anger he had at the time. Then work with him to bring his emotion down to the frustration zone.
Discuss how he can use this power tool any time he needs it. It’s within his mind. It’s his gift of reason.
Conclusion for Taming Your Angry Child:
Use the above parenting tips. Display the ruler on the refrigerator. Discuss it often.
Be your child’s model. Tell your child how you used your power tool to bring your emotion into the frustration zone.
Praise your child when he tells you how he used his power tool to control his anger. If you do, you’ll be taming your angry child and you’ll be building his rational character too.